BAHIH.ORG - Being a Human is Hard.

" To Odysseus, who is bewitched by the song, the Sirens look as beautiful as Helen of Troy. To his crew, made deaf with beeswax, the Sirens seem like hungry monsters with vicious, crooked claws."          Recently a friend described a new meal plan/diet that they are subscribing to. Subscribe here is literal, there is a monthly payment associated with this program that provides prepackaged foods to be consumed each day along with a program for success at weight loss and improved overall health. My initial reaction*, based on a lifetime of low wages, was about the money. I was aghast, I couldn't conceive of paying what, to me, seemed an enormous monthly sum to participate in this plan. I asked myself, ‘How much are you paying for overpriced healthy snacks?!”       Thankfully I was able to reframe quickly and stowed my doubts about the cost because what occurred to me was that my friend is not paying for 'overpriced snacks'. They are investing ...

I grew up walking on a tightrope and (thankfully) never knew it. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success" by Carol Dweck. Dweck makes an inspired case for both the growth and limits we create for ourselves based on subconscious mental frameworks. In my understanding, those with a growth mindset experience life as a place of nearly limitless potential where - with the application of time and effort - change sought is a change wrought. As said in The Terminator, "The future is not set. There is no fate, but we make for ourselves." This is completely unlike the fixed mindset, which assumes a more static world, one where outcomes are more often than not predetermined, and any efforts to create real change are not cost-efficient. The fixed mindset person will often argue that 'the juice is not worth the squeeze' because they assume they really can't change the circumstances they exist in. We each have portions of...

Don't take this morbidly but, isn't it all kind of one big game that doesn't seem to change? Have you ever played a game like this before?  Game:  Greetings. level one character! There is a whole world of grand adventure awaiting you. You will fight dragons, save towns, and win the affection of your heart's desire! But first, here is a stick! Go round up some chickens. Don't get pecked more than 50 times or you'll have to start over. You will attain level two after you get 100 chickens back into the yard!  Player:  Excellent! What happens at level two?  Game:  You get a cool-looking apron that defends you from half the chicken's pecks!  Player:  That sounds neat-o, then what do I need to do to get to level three?  Game:  Gather up 200 more chickens! Player: ...      How often does life feel like this kind of game where the goals get moved just as we grow? For most of my life, I have felt this subtle (and not so subtle) cul...

     I don't remember exactly when I first said the phrase 'Hope is a renewable resource,' but it was definitely while I was in college. Though I may not have always realized it, I have always been an optimist.      I was in my late thirties, underemployed, living gig to gig as a musician. I had not been to a dentist in years, except for occasional emergency extractions. My cars were never insured longer than the first month when I needed the paperwork for a new registration. I would get a new cell phone number every six months when I couldn't keep up with the bills, and the accounts went into collections. Relationships with some of my closest friends were tense due to my struggles to pay the weekly rent for the room they offered me. All of this sounds grim, but I didn't feel terrible about it then. This was the way things were, and having accepted that, I waited for times to change. I was an optimist.      As an optimist-in-waiting at the ti...