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Who is Steering the Ship?!?

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Let's start right out weird.      Do you think about hitting the bathroom light switch in the morning or does it just magically seem to come on when you walk in the room?       How often have you picked up your phone for some reason and suddenly you're looking at some app like Facebook or Twitter before you even recall the reason you picked up the phone? Like in line at the grocery store. I caught myself on that last one recently. Before I even had a conscious thought, my phone was in my hand, Facebook was open, and I was sighing waiting for the line to move without even really looking at the people around me.           These are examples of heuristics our brains adopt through experience and repetition. Heuristics evolved to save us but may be working against us.           I first learned the word heuristics through playing Magic: The Gathering. In that game, players are often presented with dozens of lines (choices) for each turn. The fatigue of calculating the potential outco
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Sept. 25, 2022

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A Facebook post from September 25, 2022 - expounded      Recently I was in the shower and looking at the shampoo bottles around my bathtub when an oddly potent memory that I hadn't relived in years struck me. When I was maybe 12-13 years old, I was encouraged by my mother to attend a local church as a means to expand my social circle. At that time I was pretty content to sit in my room and read so I didn't get out much or make that many friends but that's not the point of this story.       I started going to that church and made many friends there, including an older retired couple whose names I sadly no longer remember. They were a very kind and generous couple, and they had a lake cabin nearby. Some Sundays after church they would bring me out to their place to swim and play. These were great salt of the earthy folks, the gentleman showed me how to fire a rifle. It was an air rifle. I don't know if Mom ever knew that he did that. He taught me the BRAS acronym which I
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Offramps and The Road of Trials

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Blow up your off-ramps. How committed to change are you? Are you making a change or testing out the idea of a change?  Are you all in or leaving escape routes in place for when it's time to cut and run?  'If you want what you've never had, you have to do what you've never done?' -Unk      I started a daily Thai chi practice in June. This has involved setting aside about 20 minutes, typically in the mornings, to do some slow gentle movement and breathing exercises. I’m doing this with the hopes of prolonging and improving my joint flexibility and overall mental focus which are part of my overall goals of longevity and productivity. Why am I telling you this? Maybe I am patting myself on the back. This is a good thing, right? And I mean I have been fairly consistent, missing only a few days here or there. I tell myself, it is okay that I skip it on the days when I want to sleep in and/or have other morning commitments. I tell myself, I could do it in the afterno
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What Keeps You on the Path?

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" To Odysseus, who is bewitched by the song, the Sirens look as beautiful as Helen of Troy. To his crew, made deaf with beeswax, the Sirens seem like hungry monsters with vicious, crooked claws."          Recently a friend described a new meal plan/diet that they are subscribing to. Subscribe here is literal, there is a monthly payment associated with this program that provides prepackaged foods to be consumed each day along with a program for success at weight loss and improved overall health. My initial reaction*, based on a lifetime of low wages, was about the money. I was aghast, I couldn't conceive of paying what, to me, seemed an enormous monthly sum to participate in this plan. I asked myself, ‘How much are you paying for overpriced healthy snacks?!”       Thankfully I was able to reframe quickly and stowed my doubts about the cost because what occurred to me was that my friend is not paying for 'overpriced snacks'. They are investing in themselves. And th
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Growing Up on a Tightrope

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I grew up walking on a tightrope and (thankfully) never knew it. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success" by Carol Dweck. Dweck makes an inspired case for both the growth and limits we create for ourselves based on subconscious mental frameworks. In my understanding, those with a growth mindset experience life as a place of nearly limitless potential where - with the application of time and effort - change sought is a change wrought. As said in The Terminator, "The future is not set. There is no fate, but we make for ourselves." This is completely unlike the fixed mindset, which assumes a more static world, one where outcomes are more often than not predetermined, and any efforts to create real change are not cost-efficient. The fixed mindset person will often argue that 'the juice is not worth the squeeze' because they assume they really can't change the circumstances they exist in. We each have portions of
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The Game Stays the Same.

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Don't take this morbidly but, isn't it all kind of one big game that doesn't seem to change? Have you ever played a game like this before?  Game:  Greetings. level one character! There is a whole world of grand adventure awaiting you. You will fight dragons, save towns, and win the affection of your heart's desire! But first, here is a stick! Go round up some chickens. Don't get pecked more than 50 times or you'll have to start over. You will attain level two after you get 100 chickens back into the yard!  Player:  Excellent! What happens at level two?  Game:  You get a cool-looking apron that defends you from half the chicken's pecks!  Player:  That sounds neat-o, then what do I need to do to get to level three?  Game:  Gather up 200 more chickens! Player: ...      How often does life feel like this kind of game where the goals get moved just as we grow? For most of my life, I have felt this subtle (and not so subtle) cultural undertow to 'get to the ne
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Hope is a Renewable Resource

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     I don't remember exactly when I first said the phrase 'Hope is a renewable resource,' but it was definitely while I was in college. Though I may not have always realized it, I have always been an optimist.      I was in my late thirties, underemployed, living gig to gig as a musician. I had not been to a dentist in years, except for occasional emergency extractions. My cars were never insured longer than the first month when I needed the paperwork for a new registration. I would get a new cell phone number every six months when I couldn't keep up with the bills, and the accounts went into collections. Relationships with some of my closest friends were tense due to my struggles to pay the weekly rent for the room they offered me. All of this sounds grim, but I didn't feel terrible about it then. This was the way things were, and having accepted that, I waited for times to change. I was an optimist.      As an optimist-in-waiting at the time, I can say now, with
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