This Too Shall Pass. Oh, Crap.

"This too shall pass."

    Here in Maine, during the summer of 2023, it feels like it has been raining unseasonably long. I'm reading a rather dreary book, looking out the window into yet another gloomy day, and finding myself wondering, will it be like this forever? What if that were true? Could I handle it?

    "This too shall pass." This melancholic parade of gray days spent indoors, puttering around the house, and longing for my wonderful summer. I've started practicing Tai Chi, continued my Spanish studies, and spent hours immersed in books. But it feels like all of these activities are just ways to fill the time until I can finally sit on the couch in front of the TV. Oh, that TV time, spent waiting for the day to end so that tomorrow can start. 

Is it wrong to wish for this to pass? I won't get this time back.

    This led me to reflect on theories that have resonated with me, such as the "Attentional Clock Model" and the "Proportional Theory of Time Perception." From my understanding, these theories suggest that time seems to pass more quickly as we age due to the diminishing number of novel experiences and the decreasing proportion of each subsequent division of time.

    As we age, it often seems that we take the mundane for granted, and unfortunately, things that were once exciting become mundane. "I don't need to see another carousel; I've seen half a dozen already, and I know all there is to know about them." Meanwhile, another year passes by with seemingly little to note or comment on. This lack of novel experiences, or experiences to which we ascribe noteworthy meaning may be a dangerous two-way street! If we don't look both ways at an experience the more likely we will be to pass it over in our minds the next time we encounter it. But hopefully, the more we choose to focus on the details the more novel the mundane may be and by experiencing the familiar as new we can slow time just a little.  

     More difficult to challenge is the Proportional Theory. I think for many of us, when we were young, a year could feel like a lifetime (even a summer felt that way!). I didn't realize then that each summer was such a large part of my then-short-lived experience. It never occurred to ten-year-old Brad that the year from ten to eleven was equivalent to a full tenth of his life thus far, or that twenty to twenty-one was just a twentieth (despite all the excitement of that age). Now, going from forty-seven to forty-eight, this year will be an even smaller fraction of the years I've experienced thus far. 

    

Math, unfortunately, is a hard partner to argue with. 

    Thankfully the Proportional Theories' properties of diminishing proportions also mean that the bad days, events, and years, also tend to shrink in significance in the vast number of lived days, and years, that passed in comfort or at least without comment. 

"This too shall pass" also applies to the good things!

    Back to this rainy summer in Maine, that part of me wants to pass so quickly. But wait! If the summer is over and I go back to working full-time at the University, that really cements the passage of another year. A ritual I'm starting to fully appreciate after the last ten years between going to and working for colleges. Despite the gloom, this is still a time I need to embrace and find joy in if I want to slow down time, even a little.

    Just last week, I enjoyed the exhilaration of riding a four-wheeler through Maine's blueberry barrens all the way to Machias. It was the first time I had ridden an ATV like that since I was a teenager. That day felt like a day fully lived, not just a minuscule fraction of my overall existence. I've started a separate calendar to keep track of the time spent truly living. So far, I've recorded four occasions spent visiting friends and the ATV adventure. I might also start noting when I begin and finish a book that I genuinely enjoy. Over the years, I have sporadically attempted journaling, but with this calendar, I hope to create a sort of journal that I can review and gauge how much time I've spent living. It will allow me to relive the best moments in my mind's eye, appreciating each visit with a friend and every little adventure as fully lived and experienced opportunities. It may be challenging to counter the effects of the Proportional Theory of Time Perception, but at least I know I can work to slow down the Attentional Clock by focusing more on finding joy in the mundane and cherishing the unique beauty of the next carousel I encounter.